Jay’s Realm

After everyone left my body decided it was time to deal. And deal it did. Violently. Painfully. Repeatedly. Morning came too quickly and found me curled into a ball shaking like a kitten. Water tasted like ash and my body yearned to reject even that most benign of substances. Every creak and groan of the building thundered through my body, rattling my desiccated brain.

With great care and sheer fortitude of will I managed to drag my undead corpse to the shower. A vain attempt to wash away the rank musk of suffering and despair. It failed, but only mostly. I crawled back into bed to nurse my water for a few more hours.

Solid food came around noon. Not much. Mostly grease. I still fear the thought of meat or *shudder* vegetables. Water is coming in quicker now. The pain is easing. The vertigo fading. The thunder no longer slashes through my body like a pick up truck in a glass factory.

From this torment I found a silver lining. I lost six pounds over the last twenty four hours. Go me?

I went and joined a gym last week and yesterday I had a ‘fitness evaluation’. Turns out I’m over fat and under strong. Big shock there. But I’m not as fat as I thought I was, which is a plus.

Stats:
Body fat: 25%(ish)
Lean mass: 170lbs(ish)
Fat: 50lbs(ish)

I’m destined to always be overweight according to the height/weight ratio thing. For me not to be ‘overweight’, I’d need to be under 180lbs. I don’t think that’ll be happening. Le sigh. Now I’ll always have to have ‘a few extra pounds’ on my dating profile.

Anyways, I was asked about goals and apparently ‘lifting heavy shit’ isn’t a good goal. Neither is ‘lifting heavier shit than I did before’. So I had to write down that I’d lose 3lbs of body fat in the next month, and 15lbs in the next six. Seems easy and more than reasonable. I don’t know how well it’ll work if I intend to also pile on some muscle.

Reminds me…. I should set up my exercise bike and get started back on that every morning. I took a break for Matts bachelor party in the woods, and since then I’ve been in pain from the gym. I’m feeling better so time to get back into it.