Jay’s Realm

.. because she wants something to read in the morning. Anyways, I poofed my profile on plenty of fish and changed the ‘first date’ section. Here is my ideal first date:

Step 1) Start off with a quick and easy meeting at a well populated coffee shop. This is to make sure I don’t get the “This girl will taser me in a dark alley and take my kidney” kind of vibe. I know I’m not a player and that I am a kind hearted romantic fool who is the man of your dreams. This step is just for my safety. Can never be too careful. Lots of crazy people.

Step 2) Head off to Chapters and sit in the kids section and read Dr. Seuss books to each other. I’m not a normal guy. It’s important to notice this right away. I’m looking for someone whose heart is filled with child like wonder and excitement. Being able to read at a grade one level is also a plus, but not a requirement.

Step 3) By this point it should be clear if there’s any connection, chemistry, or taser burns. A good time to plan for the next outing and part ways. If you’ve fallen hopelessly for me we can go for a walk along the river valley and watch the sun set talking the whole night through. But no kissing. I’m just not that easy.