Jay’s Realm

Horses. I can’t say I’m a fan of horses myself, but I never had the right exposure. I grew up country and had lots of chances. Did a few trail rides and the like with no incidents threatening life or limb. One did have a bad case of flatulence, but no biggie. I’ll live.

One day my little sister decided she needs a horse. She wants to ride in the rodeo and show off to all the cowboys with their over sized belt buckles. And being a daddies girl she gets one. And my dad and my sis get it into their head that I should learn how to ride. So they get me up in the saddle and I’m a little bit nervous. Show me how to steer and the like and my confidence builds. I’m a cocky teenage boy so it doesn’t take long before I’ve gotten into the groove and Bailey (horses name) and I are tearing around at high speeds.

My sister and I… we don’t get along. Many reasons, many horror stories I could spin in great exacting detail. Now then, she gets it into her head she’s going to get me. Now I’m ripping along and a good clip and she jumps out just ahead and to the side. Jumping and screaming and flailing about. Apparently horses don’t take kindly to that. I don’t blame them. I don’t take kindly to it either.

So now here I am about four feet higher than I should be, which is a total of eight feet higher than I’d like to be. Not a skilled rider by any means, just a cocky one. So I do what any good red blooded boy would do. I scream like a sissy and clamp down tight. Apparently this means add more energy to whatever you’re doing. Bailey slams back to the ground. I follow soon after, my man bits smashing into the saddle horn. I die a little inside and whimper. In a heartbeat he’s back up in the air taking me for another ride.

Horse is bucking. Dad is screaming. Sis is laughing. Me? Still panicing. Took almost a minute but I never got bucked off. White knuckled grip the entire time. Heart pounding in my chest. Swearing up and down I’d never do that again.

But I did. Every time it was something. Tripped in a gopher hole. Startled a rattler. You name it. Finally I decided it was best for the health of both our horse and myself if I just ride the quad.